I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
