life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
