You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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