I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
