Already got asked if we're dating
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
