Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
