i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
