Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
should my penis look like a turkey
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
