if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
