Duck Duck Cougar?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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