That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
