will power is for people who don't want to get laid
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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