Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
