you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize