I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
