Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
50% drunk capacity currently
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
