but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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