How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
