if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
