I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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