We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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