I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
