M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize