I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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