So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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