Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
