Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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