The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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