Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Still dying that you shit outside
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
