she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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