I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
