Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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