I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
