dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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