I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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