i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You are a genius and a whore.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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