meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
