Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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