Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
