but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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