After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
