I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
