5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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