Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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