did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
