Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
