If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
