no, he came in my armpit
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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