We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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