told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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