the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
