The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
