They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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