Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
