If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
