i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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