Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize