How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize