I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
