i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize