I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
