dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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