The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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