She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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