why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize