woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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