...so i touched it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
