i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
