With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
