i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Shame - the story of my life.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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