the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
