Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
