I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize