scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
