Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We just shotgunned beers for America
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
