Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Randomize
