Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
